The Pool boy cracks me up.
This because he's a complete dichotomy of expectation.
Here's what I mean...
To look at him, most people would think meat eater, football junkie, tough guy.
And although he *ahem* likes his sports and is still a tough guy, the man I married would be quite happy as a vegetarian.
I know!
He looks like he's ready to go town on a brontasaurus burger, when in reality a stir fry would be way more to his liking.
But that's the beauty of being human - we constantly surprise each other.
Today is a good example, while getting the house ready for book club I was dusting the bedroom and found myself dusting the PB's latest book: "Tag You're It."
Which upon closer inspection turned out to be something called a "Romantic Suspense Novel."
I'm sorry, but people, how cute is that?
Here's a randomn sampling of the novel...
"You can't have it both ways," he shot back. getting more and more frustrated until he remembered she was a woman. Okay, he hadn't exactly forgotten. How could he when his body reminded him on an hourly basis? But she had such a male approach to life, clinical, detached, pragmatic, that when he was dealing with her on an intellectual level it surprised him when he caught a glimpseof emotionally charged illogic in what she said or did."
I've always known why I love my husband, but the whole romantic suspense novel thing continues to seal the deal.
That and the tender spot I have in my heart over his vested interest in the love story between Clark and Lana on Smallville.
After eighteen years of ups and downs, wrinkles, grey hair, weight gain, and day to day annoyance, romance - I have learned - is a choice.
And women need to learn that men crave it as much, if not more, than we do.
Discuss...
Where do you think women miss the boat where men are concerened? There's a lot of literature out there about women's needs, but what about men? What do men need?
I'm hoping this enquiring conversation will continue...
Saturday, January 31, 2009
What Men Want
Friday, January 30, 2009
Everytime we say goodbye
Annie Lennox took this great Cole Porter song and turned it into a tribute to her brother.
I've been feeling the melancholy of missing lately... realizing, yet again, how short life really is.
I love this and since I don't have my writing mojo on thought I'd share
Who do you miss?
If you had the chance to see them again, what would you say?
I'll share mine in the comments...
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
What's New Wednesday?
What's new with me?
Not too much.
I'm still plugging away at my "Oprah blog" wanting to get it just right because it's going to be a bit of a landmark thing for me.
I'll tell you all about it in the blog which will hopefully be ready soon ;)
In the meantime, how about a little bit of day to day from my neck of the woods?
I'm just about to take TH to school where he will write his last exam of the semester - Math.
Poor kid. He was up tossing and turning about it all night.
Exams. Oh for the stress. Walking into that huge gymnasium turned testing centre. Row upon row of desks.
I will never forget my worst exam moment. We had to analyze the poem "After Apple Picking" by Robert Frost and describe the relationship between apple picking and life.
For me at this stage in the game analyzing a poem is a simple and enjoyable task.
But for Maven, circa 1982, I thought I'd been chucked into the deepest recesses of hell.
Apple picking?
Apple picking??!!!!?????
Who the heck cared about apple picking???
I never did figure it out but must have faked my way through something because I still managed to pass.
"Fake it till you make it."
Those Mary Kay women knew what they were talking about.
So....
After I finish typing this riveting little slice of life, I'll be driving TH and then heading to the pool where I'll swim for about a half hour this morning before work.
From there its to the office and all the yadda yadda yadda that goes on there, and then home.
I'm trying a new recipe tonight for something called Anniversary Chicken. It has some really odd ingredients but is the highest rated chicken recipe on the All Recipes website and I've been wanting to try it for awhile.
If it's good I'll let you know!
Other than that, not much is news.
How about you? What's new with you? What's for dinner? What up?
As always, my enquiring mind wants to know!!
Happy Tuesday everyone!
Friday, January 23, 2009
What Your Mother Never Told You About Aging Gracefully
There are so many little nuances and inequities involved in the process of aging that no one ever tells us about.
Oh sure, we all know the standards.
We get a little grayer, the odd wrinkle shows up, and hair that used to be located in one spot, suddenly begins sprouting in unexpected places.
Like the tops of the ears in the Pool Boy's case,
Or the chin in mine.
I have two chin hairs that show up like clock work and constantly drive me to distraction.
So much so that it's not unusual to see me at my desk at work ripping furiously at the bottom half of my face. In fact, I've even gone so far as to attach scotch tape and quickly RIP it off, as though I were waxing - but without the pain and discomfort.
All that does, though, is a little mild exfoliating.
The hairs don't move.
Of course, the sensible among you are shaking your heads and wondering why I don't just keep an extra pair of tweezers in my desk drawer.
You know, beside the mini sewing kit, and manicure set that I also don't have.
Which is further proof that there is not one ounce of girl scout in me.
Be prepared has never been a part of my vocabulary - unless there's a party involved.
In that case, I can always be counted on the bring a crudite platter.
And assorted dips.
But there are so many things about the process of aging that our foremothers (and fathers) failed to tell us. And, quite frankly - as I continue to make the slow, and sometimes creaky, walk toward old age, I find myself constantly surprised by the inevitable.
Which is:
1. Without the miracle of plastic surgery, your butt will eventually sag. Which is okay. At the end of your life, you will not be remembered for the firmness of your derriere.
No matter how fabulous it was.
2. That tattoo you got just beneath your belly button when you were seventeen?
Bad idea.
That sexy celtic angel is going to lose a little lustre after your first pregnancy if you choose to have kids. If not, it still probably won't be looking that hot by the time you're in the nursing home. Luckily for you, however, you'll be too far gone to realize it.
And...
Number three:
Honey, the day will come when there won't be enough Oil of Olay to keep anyone guessing.
And why should it?
In my humble opinion there is nothing more beautiful, or wise, than a confident woman who embraces her age and the things that come with it.
Like dry skin and the odd wrinkle or two.
Hair colour that comes from a bottle.
And something I feel the need to address in order to de-stigmatize it and bring it out of the closet:
Bladder control.
And yes, I am going there.
Because after childbirth, as women of a certain age hot flash our way into the menopause...
Something unexpected tends to happen after a sudden sneeze, a spate of coughing, or - and this was the reason I believe the Poise pad was developed -
When engaged in hysterical laughter of any kind. Because, during and after any of these circumstances, certain things tend to happen that are potentially embarrassing in mixed company.
But riotous in groups of menopausal women.
Particularly if there is alcohol involved.
And people, it was an all out laugh riot a short time ago while I was away on a business trip.
Picture three forty or fifty something women in bad bathing suits after too many martinis all standing bent over and cross legged as we laughed our asses off.
All I can say is Kegals anyone?
And the more we remained bent over and cross legged like that, the funnier it got - which, in turn, just made it worse.
Aging.
Sometimes it ain't pretty.
But if you can maintain a healthy sense of humour and an acceptance that people and bodies were meant to change, you too can successfully navigate it's sometimes choppy but interesting waters.
And Me?
Hotflashes notwithstanding, I actually like getting older.
I don't feel the same pressure to look a certain way as I did when I was younger and have arrived at the grateful understanding that what I have to give this world has nothing to do with the way I look and everything to do with the way I feel.
About life, humanity, and most of all, myself.
Which is one of the reasons the whole Oprah weight thing in early January struck a nerve with me.
And that blog is coming tomorrow...
Until then, dish it!
What do you think? Is getting older really getting better? And, if so, what does getting better mean to you? Have you changed and grown spiritually, intellectually, and emotionally with the years? And finally, is there something you've learned you would like to share?
As always, enquiring minds want to know...
Thursday, January 22, 2009
A Golden Day
12.20.2009
The subtle beauty of this day
Hangs o'er me like a fairy spell,
And care and grief have flown away,
And every breeze sings, "all is well."
I ask, "Hold earth or sin, or woe?"
My heart replies, "I do not know."
Nay! all we know, or feel, my heart,
Today is joy undimmed, complete;
In tears or pain we have no part;
The act of breathing is so sweet,
We care no higher joy to name.
What reck we now of wealth or fame?
The past--what matters it to me?
The pain it gave has passed away.
The future--that I cannot see!
I care for nothing save today--
This is a respite from all care,
And trouble flies--I know not where.
Go on, oh noisy, restless life!
Pass by, oh, feet that seek for heights!
I have no part in aught of strife;
I do not want your vain delights.
The day wraps round me like a spell
And every breeze sings, "All is well."
~Ella Wheeler Wilcox
Tuesday, January 20, 2009
The Art of Relaxation
In Honour of SITS best of 2009!!!
Hope you enjoy....
***
A few years ago, I decided I wasn't giving enough to my community. And in truth, I blame it on Oprah.
With all the Angel Network hooplah going on at the time, it had become apparent I wasn't living my best life. So I decided to make a change.
Feeling empowered, altruistic, and ready to share myself with the world, I applied to volunteer at a local women's center.
I'll tell you, it was a whole new world for me.
Within the patchouli scented world of the Haven for Women (which is where I ended up volunteering ), there was an abundance of herbal teas, feminist literature, and a pervading distrust of all things male.
In fact, when somebody sneezed at the Haven, the accepted phrasing was "Goddess bless you."
It wasn't long before I was quoting Gloria Steinem, reading the Beauty Myth, and exploring different facets of my spiritual self.
I completely immersed myself into the spiritual aspect of feminism to the extent that one of the women I volunteered with gave me something called a sagewand. Apparently it would help cleanse my aura and my home of any negative energy.
All I had to do was light the end of it until it smoked like a cigar, and then run the smoke across my body and throughout the house.
Although it had a rather unusual and intoxicating aroma, I was excited about the prospect of chanting, meditating, and making a spiritual connection. So I took it home, lit up, began the cleansing.
"Om om shanti om shanti Om Om Om Ooooooooooom"
And was just finishing up in the bedroom when I heard the bellowing cry of a typical male:
Poolboy!
My husband was home early and horning in on my spiritual practice.
"What hell is going on in here?" says he.
"I'm cleansing the house of negative energy, and your raised voice is contaminating my aura."
The PB looked at me, and rolled his eyes.
"It smells like you're smoking the ganja in here."
It became very clear at that point the man just needed to learn how to relax.
Never one to take anything, least of all relaxation, lying down, I took it upon myself to take his spiritual health into my own hands - deciding that a relaxation tape would be a good way to start.
They just happened to have some New Age tapes kicking around the Women's Centre.
"Perfect," I thought as I blew the dust off the five-tape set, "This should just about do the trick."
When the Pool Boy arrived home from work the next night, I could tell it hadn't been a good day. He groaned as he bent to remove his workboots and didn't even notice the sounds of birds and windchimes I had playing in the background.
Which is just so typical.
The finer points of ambience are generally lost on the man I married.
But at one point during dinner - when a chorus of incredibly vocal loons came onto track seven of my "Soothing sounds of Nature CD - he jumped a foot.
"What the hell is that?"
"Loons," I said, looking concerned, "Try not to act so stressed, Dr. Phil says that men need to learn to relax more."
"I'm plenty relaxed," says the Pool Boy, "And Dr. Phil's a quack."
Obviously, this tactic wasn't working.
I thought back to Sunday dinner the week previous.
My parents, Marv and Aurora had come for dinner and the family got into a great conversation.
I mentioned in passing that I was learning a lot about myself at the women's center and that it was possible that I could be controlling at times.
My mother snorted wine out her nose, and she, Marv, and the Pool Boy convulsed into gales of laughter.
Is it controlling, I wondered, to try and force the PB into relaxation if he doesn't want to do it?
***
By the time we were both in bed, I had initiated the soft lighting recommended on my cassette box and had the tape player ready to go.
The Pool Boy by now had pretty much succumbed to the idea that he was to relax - dammit - and take the entire exercise seriously. Cue the soft relaxing music - ocean waves, and dolphins.
We both closed our eyes and settled in as the female narrator began to weave a hypnotic spell.
"Your eyes are relaxed," she chanted, "Your shoulders, neck and arms."
I was feeling proud of myself. "What a wife I am," I thought, "I've introduced The Pool Boy to a whole new level of consciousness."
"... Now feel your stomach muscles contract and expand with each breath as you sink deeper and deeper into relaxation..."
But as I continued to simultaneously relax and congratulate myself, I felt a slight movement from the right hand side of the bed.
I opened my right eye, ever so slightly to make sure he was following along –
Only to discover that he was staring at the ceiling, apparently looking for patterns in the stucco.
I jumped from the bed, and pressed the pause button.
"You're supposed to be relaxing!"
"I am relaxing," says the PB, "I was just getting into it."
"Not with your eyes open," I say, " You need to keep them shut to get the whole experience."
Soon enough, both sets of our eyes were, again, closed.
But I couldn't seem to quiet my mind...
"Now breathe as you tighten the muscles of your lower back, and then slowly release,"
I mean, how could he not see the value in this?
"Breathe as you relax every portion of your body..."
I cracked open one eye again. Good. He seemed to be intently breathing. The melodic voice on the tape continued to lead us.
"Feel your buttocks as the tensions melts away..."
A strangling sound came from the occupant on the right side of the bed.
"Let the tension drain from your buttocks and thighs and then...
People, what was I thinking??
It was a tape from the Women's Centre for God's sake!
"Let the tension drain from your buttocks and thighs and then...
"Relax your vagina"
It was as if time stood still.
The Pool Boy started to choke, quietly at first, but as the tension in his buttocks melted away, it crescendoed into a full blown eruption. All 6 feet 4 of him and his, now, fully relaxed vagina, sprung from the bed and shouted "I'm done!"
Men!
I made a mental note not to use a relaxation tape from the women's centre again!
***
To all the SITSERS who pop by - Welcome!!!!!!! Merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!! And be sure to subscribe to all the fun!!!
Mave hits the Menopause... Introducing Maveuline
Good morning everyone and welcome to a brand new day in Maven's New Haven - a place where living fabulously is only a potted basil plant away.
Where everything is well ordered, tidy, and your incredibly impeccable hostess - namely me - is ready to share domestic tips and ideas that really are
Just.
That.
Fabulous.
Oh for the love of Pete!
The Poolboy just left his damn boots in the doorway again!
Everyday with the size thirteens.
Coats hanging on chairs instead of hangers.
Towels left askew, and toilet paper rolls forever not on spindles.
I swear, somedays I deserve a merit badge just for putting up with it all.
***
Is it getting hot in here?
No, really.
Did someone turn the heat up?
***
From MedicineNet: The changes of the menopause transition (perimenopause) begin about 6 years before the natural menopause. This is a time when hot flashes (a sudden warm feeling with blushing) occur with regularity. Other changes associated with the perimenopause and menopause include night sweats, mood swings, fluctuations in sexual desire, forgetfulness, trouble sleeping and fatigue.
***
Ladies, and *one*, erm, gentleman, it is my great pleasure to introduce a brand new character to this blog:
Maveuline
This trash talkin good time Sally is not only HOT, HOT, HOT!! - she believes her newfound powers of middle aged feminine supremacy may be just the ticket needed to finally take over the world.
* cue the evil laughter*
While our sweet heroine Maven mops floors, bakes brownies, and folds an assortment of male underwear, Maveuline waits on the sidelines - hand held electric fan at the ready - to let any and all know exactly what's what.
Stay tuned for the following upcoming Maveuline blogs:
The Great Furnace Conspiracy
The Joy of Car Air Conditioning in Winter
Eat the Damn Potato Salad and Stop Interrupting (The Oprah Blog)
Cooking with Maveuline
Shopping for bathing suits on hormone replacement
I figure Maveuline is up for a pretty long and hilarious run.
Watch for her - she's getting a weekly column here on a Fabulously Good Life very soon...
***
Happy Inaugural Day to all my American Friends!
Love Maven
Sunday, January 18, 2009
Comfort Day - Oven Fried Chicken and Mashed Potatoes
Today was all about comfort from beginning to end.
I slept in, read a good book, drank coffee, and stayed in my pyjamas.
The PB and TH were both out which also gave me the opportunity to put on my play list and clean.
I sang along to Jack and Diane, Heavy Metal, and Margaritaville - to name a few favourite cleaning songs - while I lemon oiled all the antiques, dusted every nook and cranny, shampooed my carpets, washed the floors and scrubbed my tub.
Strangely enough, I find comfort in cleaning.
Working full time doesn't afford me the time I'd like to spend on my home - so when I get a window of opportunity like today, I jump on it.
Tomorrow the yard!
Meanwhile, one of my favourite "comfort meals" is oven fried chicken breasts and mashed potatoes.
This recipe takes the idea of shake and bake to a whole new level...
And trust me on the mayonaisse.
It makes for moist, tender, flavourful chicken every time.
Enjoy...
Oven Fried Chicken Breasts
* 3-5 bone in chicken breasts
* 1 cup dried bread crumbs
* 1 teaspoon garlic powder
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 1 teaspoon ground black pepper
* 1 teaspoon dried thyme
* 1/8 tsp cayenne pepper
* 1/2 teaspoon paprika
* 1 tbsp worcestershire sauce
* 1 cup mayonnaise
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
In a medium bowl, mix together the bread crumbs, garlic powder, salt, pepper, thyme, cayenne, and paprika.
Coat the chicken with mayonnaise. Place chicken en pieces in bowl with bread crumb mixture and coat until well coated. Place chicken in a lightly greased 9x13 inch baking dish, spray each piece lightly with PAM, and bake for 45 - 60 minutes minutes until juices run clear.
This chicken is also exceptionally good cold.
I often make it in the summer to take on picnics.
But for today, it was all about the comfort...
So tell me. what kind of music do you get your clean on with?
Enquiring minds are feeling nosey...
And then have a simply spectacular day...
Love,
Maven
***
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Saturday, January 17, 2009
Across the Universe
Last Saturday the PB and I watched the movie "Across the Universe."
I cried almost the entire way through it.
Sad tears.
Hopeful tears.
Love of beauty tears.
Tears because, despite the pointless repetition of history, John Lennon's Imaginings were never in vain.
Nothings gonna change my world.
It was the best movie I've seen in a very long time.
For those of you who aren't familiar with it, here's the trailer with a HUGE thumbs up from me, TH, and the Poolboy.
Across the Universe
John Lennon
Words are flying out like
endless rain into a paper cup
They slither while they pass
They slip away across the universe
Pools of sorrow waves of joy
are drifting through my open mind
Possessing and caressing me
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Images of broken light which
dance before me like a million eyes
That call me on and on across the universe
Thoughts meander like a
restless wind inside a letter box
they tumble blindly as
they make their way across the universe
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Sounds of laughter shades of life
are ringing through my open ears
exciting and inviting me
Limitless undying love which
shines around me like a million suns
It calls me on and on across the universe
Jai guru deva om
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world
Nothing's gonna change my world...
***
With everyday comes another chance to do something good.
Something right.
Something worthwhile.
Kindness and compassion never leave you second guessing or wondering "Should I have said that?"
Kindness stands on its own and envelopes everyone in its presence with good.
I choose that.
How about you?
Happy Saturday....
Love,
Maven
***
There are two ways to subscribe and both are FREE :-)
The first is by submitting your email address. Subscribing this way brings my blogs straight to your inbox every time a new one is written.
Subscribe in a reader
Thursday, January 15, 2009
Validation
If you have time to watch this, I promise, it's totally worth it.
Here's to a beautiful Thursday!
Love, Maven
