The Oprah Blog... or why I am *Over* weight

Although this is the fabled Oprah blog, my intention is not to criticize, but rather to talk about the depressingly complex issue of our cultural obsession with thinness.



This because Oprah's latest best life shows and subsequent "weight gain confession" sparked something in me.

Though her interrupting of guests and starry eyed love of celebrity sometimes gets on my nerves, I remain loyal.

I've enjoyed her show from the beginning and was glued to my rabbit eared set the day she pulled the wagon load of fat onto her set.



Who didn't want that belt?

I remember sitting in my apartment in Montreal in absolute awe of a woman who could live on nothing but liquid for months.

Though I had no way of purchasing Optifast myself, I hi-tailed it to the grocey store and bought myself a month's worth of Slim Fast - vowing this time was going to be "it."

I'm sure you can relate.

The diets I've been on over the years have been as varied as they've been unsuccesful.

I would lose weight but it always crept back on.

And one day I realized I had it all wrong.

I realized that in order to achieve the body I was hoping for meant a constant fight for surival with my very being.

My appetite told me I wasn't satisified, my cravings told me I was missing something, and the minute I went back to eating normally and exercising in moderation, the weight came back.

That's when the lightbulb went off.

Perhaps my body had a "natural" weight that it would automatically sit at if given half a chance. A weight I could easily maintain through sensible, conscious, moderation in eating and an active lifestyle.

Though that natural weight would never be a size 8, my status as a size whatever wasn't a reflection of who I am as a human being.

Perhaps it was time to accept myself - my size, my shape, my dimples, my hair, my height, my face - ME, and throw out the version society kept telling me I needed to be.

So that's just what I did.

I started wearing bathing suits, and sleeveless dresses.

I stopped hiding and camouflaging and began to learn to see beauty in a body that the media tells me in a variety of uninteresting ways isn't good enough.



Thank God I'm a rebel and refuse to believe it.

And that's what this blog is about.

Oprah fits in because of my recent dissapointment with her Live Your Best Life "weight loss confession." (click the link to read the interview)

By definition a confession is: "An admission of one's faults, sins, or crimes," which implies that in gaining weight Oprah did something wrong.

And that bothers me.

With her intelligence, compassion, power, and success, I find it dissapointing that she's still letting her body's natural proclivity toward the robust hold her down.

Because when its done in public and becomes a media event it holds the rest of us down too.

It perpetuates the mythology that a person can't be whole, or complete, or spiritually evolved if they are "over" weight.

From the interview:

Oprah says money, fame and success don't mean anything if you can't control your own being. "It doesn't mean anything if you can't fit into your clothes," she says. "It means the fat won. It means you didn't win. … I am mad at myself. I am embarrassed."

Don't you see?

If Oprah Winfrey is somehow "flawed" or "bad" or "out of control" because she was not meant to be thin, then what does that say to the rest of us?

The way I see it, if you can't keep weight off with a personal trainer, your own chef, and all the other amenities that come with being wealthy, isn't it possible you weren't meant to be thin?

It doesn't make you weak, or less than - all it makes you is, well, you.

Perhaps the fat actually didn't "win" because it was never meant to be a battle.

I understand being at a weight that doesn't feel comfortable. Lord knows I've been there. But I wish our culture wouldn't put so much emphasis on it.

Oprah Winfrey is so much more than a pant size.

We all are.

If I met Oprah tomorrow I wouldn't thank her for looking fabulous, I would thank her for re-igniting my interest in books. I'd thank her for the Angel Network and the inspiration to go out and volunteer - a decision that ultimately changed my life. I'd thank her being so utterly and beautifully human.

Be healthy, exercise, eat well, and live your life. Your body will find its natural weight.

It may not be a size 2 or even a size 12 - but that doesn't make you bad or a failure.

There are many beautiful women in this world who wear a size 14 and above...





I believe women look best at their natural weight - the weight they can easily maintain by living in moderation and staying active.

Janeane Garofolo is the perfect example of this.



She looked much healthier at her body's natural weight.



So does Oprah who looks weird to me when she's too thin, like her head is too big for her body...




I think she looks absolutely stunning here



And would guess this is close to where her "natural weight" is.

Which is why I was dissapointed when she put herself out there again for public consumption.

She deserves so much more than the kind of attention her "confession" got.

Of course the media gobbled it right up.

The evening after her first Best Life show, you couldn't change the channel without hearing a sound bite about her shame and disspointment. Much the same way Jessica Simpson has been plastered all over the news lately.

It never changes.

Sadly, this blog - along with everything else I've ever written about weight - is nothing more than spitting into a very strong, deeply ingrained wind.

So take what you want from my words and release the rest.

To my mind, though, when you let a societal standard tell you - no matter what your accomplishments might be - that you are somehow flawed because you don't meet the standard, you not only let yourself down, you let the world down.

You perpetuate the propaganda.

And I simply won't do it.

TOWANDA

Years ago I made a promise not to engage in any kind of weight related conversation with other women - and I kept it up for a long time.

But it wasn't easy.

When you make a conscious decision not to talk about weight, it's surprising to see how often it comes up in conversation.

Surprising and disturbing.

Try it sometime.

In fact, if you're game, try it this week. Try to spend the entire week not engaging in any conversation about weight or diets. Take note, as well, everytime you hear or see weight referenced in conversation or in the media.

It's very eye opening.

Until then, I want to leave you with a quote...

It's from Oprah.

"My idea of heaven is a great big baked potato and someone to share it with."

- Oprah Winfrey

My wish for us all is that we learn how to go easier on ourselves. To accept and embrace ourselves as wonderfully complex beings who come in a variety of shapes and sizes.

Somebody told me the other day that the metabolism slows down as we head into our forties and it made me wonder... our Creator designed us so beautifully, everything with a purpose, that I know this can't be a flaw.

Perhaps a woman in middle age is supposed to have a softness about her.

Perhaps our bodies are exactly as they were supposed to be. As they were designed.

And perhaps we should be looking toward new sources in order to define ourselves and our perceptions of health and beauty.

Eat your potatoes, love yourselves, your lives, and the ones you're with.

The people who matter will remember you for your fabulosity not your fat.

And that's the blog other than to say I am "OVER" weight.

How about you?