I know, I know.
Most of you have already read this.
But I'm on hiatus!
(and enjoying the break)
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Grocery Shopping Personality Indicator
I have a theory that the study of shopping habits; of how people shop, where people shop, and most importantly, how they conduct themselves while shopping, can provide a fascinating and accurate insight into personality.
Furthermore, there is no other type of shopping that brings personality out in people better than grocery shopping. Give people a cart - and the Crazy pretty much comes out.
Take me for example. Similar to the famous Meyer's Briggs personality test, my Grocery Shopping Personality Indicator (tm), puts Crazy into five distinct categories:
The Controller, The Free Spirit, The Naturalist, the Ponderer, and the Frazzled Parent.
I am The Controller.
Controller's always go shopping with a plan.
They know the entire layout of the store, and the really good ones have lists itemized by aisle and by cost.
Controller's know the price point of just about every item in the store, they seldomn purchase anything at full cost, and will often calculate the grocery tally as they shop.
For this reason, it's not always adviseable to approach The Controller while in Full Shop Mode.(tm)
While Controller's love to talk about their shopping exploits after the fact - that last caselot of Campbell's Soup, or the triple coupon on Tide for example,
Getting them while they have their shop on, might throw them off the tally, and is, therefore, not adviseable.
In the best of world's, the happiest way to deal with The Controller is not to shop with them at all.
Because there really is no need.
The Controller has everything covered, and unlike the the Ponderer, Free Spirit, or Frazzled Parent, the Controller won't forget anything as long as it's on the list.
The Naturalist is also quite organized, but, unlike the Controller, if it's not organic - it won't be coming home.
The Controller is quite easy to identify in this - the grocery store - his natural habitat. If you're worried about approaching someone to ask for directions to a particular aisle or product, and suspect you may be gravitating toward a Contoller, never fear - as long as you speak to someone who doesn't have a cart, you're probably safe.
Controller's almost always have a cart.
If controller's happen to be shopping with a friend or spouse, the Controller will have full stewardship of the cart because the true Controller feels naked without one.
Furthermore, it is unlikely that you will ever encounter a Controller at the grocery store picking up just one item.
The only exception to this occurs when the Controller is married to or involved with a Free Spirit.
Free Spirits live without lists and will challenge Controller's in the most uncomfortable ways...
Asking them to shop in trendy little markets where No Name brand isn't an option, or worse, to pick up items like Macadamia nuts, or Chanterelles on their way home from work.
If in doubt, always look for a list. Even with two items, the Controller will always have one.
The Free Spirit is a breed all it's own.
I should know, I'm married to one.
If left unattended at the grocery store, the Free Spirit will pretty much go crazy, throwing brand name items into the cart with wild abandon.
The Free Spirit doesn't care what an item costs, if it's on the list, or if it's part of a pre-arranged two week family eating plan.
No.
All the Free Spirit cares about is how the item looks. The packaging, the colours, the presentation.
No Name labels repel them like the plague.
In general, though, you won't see a lot of free spirits at the grocery store.
Unlike The Controller, large grocery stores are not a Free Spirit's natural habitat.
They can usually be found in Farmer's Markets, Organic Food Stores, and more often than not, upscale restaurants.
The exception to this is if the Free Spirit is involved with or married to a Controller. Free Spirits usually love to cook. It's the hassle of dealing with groceries that finds them at that new Thai restaurant instead of the local Costco.
But if they have a Controller in their lives who can find them all the ingredients at the best prices, the Free Spirit's place is where you want to come for dinner.
The Naturalist, on the other hand, swings both ways.
There are Controller Naturalists, and Free Spirited ones.
What sets them apart, however, is an utter disdain for all things pre-packaged or processed.
While Cambpell's Cream of Mushroom soup is often a mainstay in Controller cooking, the mere thought of it wrinkles most Naturalists lightly tanned and freckled noses.
Naturalists come in all shapes and sizes and are comfortable both in health food stores and large grocery chains. Natural fibres, birkenstock sandals, longish hair, little makeup, and a cart full of products from the bulk department are hallmark indicators that you are in the presence of one.
As shoppers, they are usually easy to get along with and will generally keep to themselves.
Forewarned is forearmed, though. If you spot someone with a list, pushing a cartload of bulk and organic products, don't be offended when they look you and your cart full of Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Dinner, Fish Sticks, and Cheese Whiz, over.
Simply put, you are in the presence of that most frightening of shoppers: The Controlling Naturalist.
This is the person who will race you to the checkout line, and will count every item in your basket at the 12 item or less Express.
Furthermore, the Controlling Naturalist shops with his own hemp grocery bags, and will always comment if you choose plastic over paper.
Outside of the grocery store setting, however, the Controlling Naturalist is a powerful ally to have.
Problems with the government or the local school board?
Look no further. The Controlling Naturalist will be your best friend.
Which brings me to my next personality type: The Ponderer.
For some reason Ponderers and Controlling Naturalists tend to gravitate to one another.
It's a dichotomy, really, since the two personality types tend to drive each other the most crazy.
Yet, look to the marriages of any good Controlling Naturalist and 95 percent of the time they are married to a Ponderer.
If a Ponderer comes to the grocery store with a Controller, the Ponderer will never have the cart.
Instead the ponderer can be spotted wandering aimlessly around the grocery store with the occasional box in hand.
The box is usually something that has caught the Ponderer's eye, something that is shiny and not on the Controller's list that they will try to sneak into the cart - which of course, never works.
For the Controller sees all.
But the worst possible scenario of all is the PWC, or, Ponderer With Cart.
Worse yet, Two Ponderers shopping together with a cart, and worse even still, two elderly Ponderers with a cart.
The Ponderer has absolutely no concept of grocery store aisle etiquette, and will hold up traffic by parking the cart at some odd angle in the middle the aisle while trying to decide which type of mayonaisse to buy.
But the most lethal of all grocery aisle situations of all is the Elderly Ponderer Cart Holdup in combination with a Frazzled Parent with Two or More Children.
If you find yourself in this situation... two elderly Ponderers holding up traffic by the Hellman's while a Frazzled Parent tries to quell the screams of a two year old in the cart, at the same time twisting the arm a five year old reaching for the Fruity Pebbles, take heart.
Thinking violent obscenity laced thoughts is perfectly normal.
And in particular, if you're a Controller - go easy on yourself.
The Ponderer Frazelled Parent combo can make even the most Free Spirited Naturalist crazy.
The safest way to deal with the situation is to simply turn your cart around and go the other way.
They say that awareness is half the battle when embarking on any kind of lifestyle change.
My hope is that this Grocery Shopping Personality Indicator has been a helpful way to shed some light on our own behaviours and, thus, change them.
So the next time you're at the grocery store, silently cursing the Crazies around you, remember... there's a little bit of Crazy in all of us - and most of the time, we know not what we do.
411 people... What kind of shopper are you and why?
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11 comments:
I, of course, am a Controlling Naturalist.
Sans the freckles.
I have NO idea what I am married to....I don't allow him in the grocery store. God knows what would end up in my pantry!
I am easily a Controlling Free Spirit! I go both ways!
I have no problem using the yellow label, but like to have choice. I find the store we have here (Superstore) never has choice ... I like to choose between three or four different brands. When I have a list, I stick to it to the t. But, I have been known to go in for one thing, and come out with a cart full, because there were some good sales on.
I am a price watcher, where my husband is most defintely NOT! When we were in Minneapolis last week, he & I went into that darn Hollister or Abercrombie & Fitch place (can't remember which one ... they both smell the same!!). I picked out a few things for the kids, (ON SALE THINGS ONLY!!) and while I was in line, Aaron came up to me with a polo shirt for him and asked if I liked it, and I said 'yea', and he said that he would like it. I said 'okay', and put it in my pile. I was a little hesitant at first, only because this would be his SIXTH polo shirt purchase on this trip of ours! He has this weird obsession with polo shirts .. he likes to buy them and then put them away until his current favorite has holes all over it. Then he will pull out the 'oldest' new one, wear that until it is rags, and so on, and so on. The other shirts we had picked up on this trip were pretty good buys ... 3 for $20 and stuff like that. So, I'm standing in this 'hip' store, with 'hip' kids all around me who smell divine. My purchases are all being rung up, and Aaron's shirt comes up and Good Lord it is 60 freaking dollars! I just about choked! But, I didn't say anything, because the poor man doesn't ask for much ... doesn't smoke, doesn't drink (much!) doesn't gamble ... so I just swallowed the horror and paid for everything. I went out into the mall with my bags and he was sitting there, on a nice leather couch, waiting for me. I said something about his expensive taste. He asked what I meant by that ... I said "Did you see the price of that shirt you wanted?" He said, no!!! Who the HECK does not look at prices??!! When I told him $60, he turned pale and started to sweat! I told him I don't mind spending that much on something I know he will wear, but for it to go home and into his closet for a year to two (which he and I knew would happen) it just didn't make sense. So, he got up from his comfy couch, and picked up the bag with his shirt in it and sheepishly took it in to all the 'cool, hip' kids in Abercrombie & Fitch and returned it. Thank goodness. I don't think any polo shirt is worth $60!!
I'm not sure if your Grocery Shopping Personality Indicator is the same indicator one would use for clothes shopping Mave, but if that were the case, he would defintely be a Free Spirit!!
And you are right about the Ponderers!! I seem to run into them everywhere ... and it is all I can do to control the urge to ram my cart into theirs to get them to let me through!! Sometimes saying 'excuse me' just doesn't cut it!!
Thanks for the chuckles!
Kady
Well, at first I thought I was definitely a CONTROLLER!!!!! Now, I am thnking maybe a controlling free spirit.... I am controlling to a point, I guess. I know what I want, have a list, always have the cart, but tend to check prices, ingredients etc. Also, if I see something that is not on my list but is irresistible...in it goes! Well, I am off to the grocery store (not kidding, guests tomorrow)!!!!! Pinky
I'm not sure what category I fit in. I hate the large supermarkets (I send Mark), and I prefer the smaller shops and farmer's markets.
I like to smell, touch, and taste the foods at the farmer's markets. I like to make it an outing--like a day in the park. I hate the processed foods, frozen fish, and pre-cooked meals--those are usually at the large chain markets.
Remember how we ate the blueberries and tore off pieces of fresh baked baguette, in the car, on the way home from the farmer's market? I like to shop and eat that way the most!
I think I'm a Ponderer but those people that block the aisles irritate me immensely (especially the ones who look at you is if it's you're fault), so am I really one? lol!
My mom is definately a Controller. The few times we've grocery shopped together were NOT fun. I go to Costco with a brother because going with her is an exercise in frustration (mine).
Oops! 'Your', not you're. I'm a college graduate, I promise! ; )
This was so much fun and of course I am a Controller; absolutely cannot shop unless I am pushing the cart! I also check out and silently criticize the foods that other shoppers buy, can't help it, I just do it. Last week while shopping for the Christmas Feast and inevitable Baking Frenzy I found myself in an awkward position. I purchased a cart of saturated fat, $270. to be exact. It started with the butter, went on to the cheese, cream, bacon, sausage...oh don't forget the eggs and was topped off by a 13 pound slab of boneless Rib Eye Roast. I just know that there was a Cardiac Surgeon gloating somewhere in the parking lot. Of course I tried to hide all the fat by adding large bags of potatoes and some Clementines, but I don't think I fooled anyone. Right now I feel the need to eat large doses of broiled fish and lots of broccoli!
Janet
~MAVE~
ROFLOL!
ANOTHER ONE OF MY FAVE MAVE BLOGS!
THERE IS NO QUESTION ABOUT IT, I AM A CONTROLLER, BUT DUE TO THE PROGRESSION OF MY DISABILITY, I'VE HAD TO RELINQUISH THE CART FOR ONE OF THOSE LIL SCOOTER THINGIES, AND SOMEONE ELSE PUSHING THE CART WHILE I HOLD THE LIST, SAY WHAT ITEM(S) I NEED, AND OFTEN TIMES KEEP A RUNNING TAB WHILE I AM DOING IT, PLUS DRIVING THE LIL SCOOTER. (THIS IS ABOUT THE ONLY AREA OF MY LIFE WHERE I HAVE STRONG MULTI-TASKING ABILITIES).
WHEN I WAS GROWING UP "BOTH" "PARENTS" WERE CONTROLLERS (WHICH I NOTICED DID NOT MAKE YER CATEGORY BREAK-DOWN).
THE EGG DONOR MADE UP A TWO WEEK MENU (WHICH LATER BECAME MY JOB), THE SPERM DONOR WENT TO THE STORE AND BOT EVERYTHING BECAUSE HE WAS THE ONE WHO MADE THE BUDGET AND PAID ALL THE BILLS (THRU THE YEARS IT BECAME SOMETHING THEY ENJOYED DOING TOGETHER).
WHEN I WAS MARRIED, I FOLLOWED SUIT, SINCE THAT WAS THE ONLY WAY I KNEW, AND TO AVOID RUNNING INTO MANY OF THE OTHER CATEGORY TYPES, I SHOPPED AT 2 A.M. WHEN THERE WERE FEW PEOPLE AND THE MOST I HAD TO WORRY ABOUT WAS GETTING AROUND THE FLATS AND STACKS OF BOXES OF STUFF THEY WERE RE-STOCKING THE SHELVES WITH.
BACK THEN WE ONLY GOT PAID ONCE A MONTH, SO I ALSO KEPT A RUNNING TAB FOR THE ENTIRE SHOPPING TRIP.
WHILE I STILL POSSESS MORE CONTROLLER TRAITS THAN ANYTHING ELSE U MENTIONED, IN ADDITION TO GIVING UP THE CART, I'VE ALSO GIVEN UP THE MENU ASPECT.
I SUPPOSE IN THAT WAY I MAY B LEANING MORE TOWARD A FREE SPIRIT TYPE APPROACH, BUT I THINK I WILL ALWAYS B A CONTROLLER AT HEART.
LOVED RE-READING THIS ONE, KIDDO.
EXCELLENT RE-LOADING CHOICES FOR THIS HIATUS.
TOWANDA, BABY.
HUGS AND A CART FULL TO THE RIM WITH EVERYTHING ON YER LIST 50% OFF...
~IDGY~
I am a Free Spirit! Which explains why my grocery bill's so high so often! Haha!
Being a Controller/Frazzled Parent, it can get interesting if we add Free Spirit hubby to the mix. I tend to avoid this at all costs. Even shopping with both boys now is out of the question. Once you remember the sweet taste of shopping with one small child, you don't want to go back!
I have a price book to assist the general list in my head. The Tightwad Gazette is practically my Bible. I have been known to thrust coupons at unsuspecting folk in the soup aisle.
I'm the Controller all the way, and Sean is definitely the Free Spirit. He'll buy anything and everything because he feels like it. IT DRIVES ME MAD!!! Good thing we don't live together (yet) or I'd be up the wall with Crazy.
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