Favourite Beach Reads and the PB's Love of Vampire Novels

The Poolboy has a thing for vampires.

It started in childhood with televison series like Dark Shadows, and Night Stalker where the Poolboy's early hero, Carl Kolchak, would fight off a variety of otherworldly beasts and beings.



He loved the series so much that in the late 80's when it was re-released on VHS, he bought the entire thing.

Around the same time he met me.

Girls, you know how it is.

You meet a cute guy, really like him, and suddenly find yourself watching the hockey playoffs, going to movies starring Sly Stallone, Clint, and Arnold, and watching marathon sessions of The Night Stalker with unbridaled enthusiasm.

Of course all that changes after marriage.

The Poolboy still looks at me with confusion when I lament the sports channel.

"But I thought you liked hockey..."

Ah the poor, poor man.

As an aside, he's currently reading this over my shoulder and wants you to know that if there was no Night Stalker with Darren McGavin there would never have been an X Files. It was Chris Carter's love of the show that helped him come up with Mulder and Sculley.

Thankyou Poolboy, now off you go. I have a blog to write.

Lucky man, being immortalized this way.

Anyways, the man loves his vamps, with his favourite of all being:

Kate Beckinsale.



If it wasn't for the bathing suit incident where I got trapped in a black speedo body suit looking like a giant bowling ball with legs, I'd wear a rubber suit too.

And pack weapons.



The latest, though, is that the Poolboy has taken to, not only reading his romantic suspense novels, he's now found a new genre: Romantic Fantasy.

But before you start suggesting he pick up the Twilight series, save your breath, because apparently Twilight is strictly for women.

As opposed to the book I just nabbed from his nightstand: A Rush of Wings, a story with a little more bite, if you'll pardon the pun:

"This book has it all... vampires and fallen angels and a slicing, dicing serial killer... it alternates romantic homages to gothdom and steamy blood drinking threesomes with enough terse, fast paced thriller scenes to satisfy even the most jaded fans."

Oh well, whatever floats ones boat.

Right?

Right.

Meanwhile, I've got a great stack of beach reads on the go.

Do any of you read Jennifer Weiner - and if not, why? People, she's FABULOUS!

Right now I'm at the tale end of her novel Little Earthquakes and loving it as much as I've loved some of the previous things she's written like In her Shoes and Good in Bed.

Next in my stack is Shopoholic gets Married by Sophie Kinsella, and then I'll round out my summer with a Nora Roberts trilogy about witches.

The PB may like his vampires, but I like my witches!

Books like Practical Magic by Alice Hoffman, and my favourite trilogy of all time - The Three Sisters Islands books, again, by Nora Roberts.

To check any of them out, I installed a new widget on my right hand side bar called "Favourite Beach Reads."

Now, tell me...

What are you reading? What inds of books do you like to read? And do you have anything to recommend?

Why?

Because, as always, enquiring minds want to know!

The Return of Jessie the Body on Big Brother 11 and other Riveting Recaps

Those of you who've known me for awhile are aware of my passionate obsession for reality tv, beginning ten years ago with the bloom of tentative partnership between ex Navy Seal Rudy



And openly gay, naked Richard in Season One of Survivor.



Though I've been discerning enough to draw the line at fodder like "I'm a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here," I've become hooked on a variety of these kinds of shows over the years.

Riveting programming like: Paradise Hotel, Temptation Island, My Fair Brady, and my favourite reality show of all time Big Brother - a show that I often blog about during the summer.

The premise, for those of you who aren't up to date, is to take thirteen strangers and put them in a house together - a house that none of them can leave - for an entire summer of backstabbing, showmancing, and competition as they systematically vote one another off.

(In black and white it doesn't look that exciting, but I'm telling you - it is!)

Although there's no bungy jumping, or living in a jungle, the appeal of Big Brother, and whether a season is going to be good or not, depends entirely on the cast.

The best seasons have one or two players the public adores, and one or two players who we hate with the burning embers of a thousand burning suns - with the rest of the cast falling somewhere in between.

But it's that love/hate that makes it fun.

Especially when it involves cliques - better still rivalries between cliques because then we, the viewing public, begin to pick teams and by mid season we're cheering our favourites on with as much vigour as we would a favourite sports team.

That is, if the formula is right.

With a less interesting cast, it loses zest.

Which brings me to this season because I have high hopes that it's going to be zesty.

First of all the twists (on Big Brother there is always at least one twist):

1. To put indivdual players into cliques based on who they were in highschool: Athletes, Brains, Popular, and Offbeat.

2. The resurection of Jessie the brain dead body builder - a ghost from Season 10 who will be returning to play for the athletes and who I. Can't. Stand.



The photo alone makes me want to shower.

And not in a good way.

But let's carry on with the cliques continuing with:

The Athletes

There's Braden a surfer dude/Jeff Spicolli wanna be.

Um Braden, 1978 called and wants it's hair back...



Russell, He Man martial artist and acting president of the I Heart Vin Diesel fan club



And Natalie, a Tae Kwon Do expert and supposed secret poker player, who got things started by telling the houseguests she's 18 and just graduated from highschool.



To which my favourite player from the Offbeats, Kevin, said "Oh no she di-n't" and called her out.



The other Offbeats are:

Forty one year old teacher and token "old guy" Casey



Who reminds me of a dad I saw on an episode of Wife Swap last year.

Unfortunately, I don't have a picture to share because when I went googling wife swap the results weren't suitable for prime time.

So far, though, there's something about him I don't like.

Time will tell.

The final Offbeat is Lydia who seems pretty cool so far.



On an early first impression, the players I would probably gravitate to are Lydia and Kevin because they seem like a lot of fun.

The populars are pretty much what you'd expect:

Jeff



Jordan



And, Really?



People, you can't see them in this shot but this broad's got the biggest set of fake boobs ever seen on prime time.

And judging from the previews, we're going to be seeing a lot of them this summer.

Is it just me or does she kind of look like Crazy Jen of unitard fame?



Finally there's The Brains:

Chima, an incredibly unlikeable, too young for botox but botoxed looking, freelance journalist



The bland as Wonderbread neuroscientist Michelle



And gamer Ronnie, who better pray to God he doesn't piss off Vin Diesel up there.



My early predictions:

• An all testosterone alliance between Vin Diesel, Jeff Spicolli, Pretty Boy Jeff, and Jessie the Body that will self implode due to ego overload.
• Wonderbread Woman will fly under the radar for the first while but could face ultimate demise because she can't play the social game.
• Ronnie, Chima, or Casey will go in the first round.
  

Who's going to be watching this with me? And, if so, what do you think? Who do you like so far? Who do you hate? And most important, what clique would you be in?

I would so be an Offbeat. But then you already knew that.

Carry on...

The Poolboy: A Perfect Vintage

The other night my good friend T Squared the Elder (how's that for a great handle?) left a comment for me on Facebook to try and find an old picture of the Poolboy I'd been telling him about.

It was taken about seven years ago at the height of my cottage style decorating fabulosity.



It featured the Poolboy still in concrete gear from work sitting on a chair I slip covered in bright yellow with giant pink flowers. He was surrounded by lace, china, more flowers, and the bright yellow paint I had on the walls.

I, of course, saw nothing unusual about it and proudly posted the picture in a women's forum to display the brilliance of my decor.

That is, until one of the commenters mentioned how out of place the PB looked.

And caused me to see the room through new eyes.

The poor guy. To this day he needs an anti-nauseant at the sight of anything yellow.

But he never said a thing.

Not my man.

Whether he's forced to sit at a lace covered picnic table, or listen to me talk about how I'm going to decorate my next campsite - not only do I decorate them, I enjoy walking past other, less attractive sights to compare - the man I married learned long ago the secret to a long and happy marriage to someone as fabulous (read: crazy) as me, is to humor me.

More than that, he has perfected the art of pretending to enjoy himself when I drag him out on Saturday afternoons to prepare for whatever kind of themed events I have planned for the evening.

Why?

Because he's smart.

He knows his supposed empathetic listening and fake enthusiasm will put me in a good mood, and that if I believe we're actually enjoying the finer points of food and conversation, it will be the ultimate aphrodisiac.

With enough wine as we sit at our impeccably decorated table, chances are good he'll be hitting the jackpot later

People, I wasn't born yesterday.

I like my men like I like my wine.

Subtle, and warm with just the right amount of edge to keep me on my toes.

But when T Squared asked to see the picture, I went completely Monica.



Tearing around the house in a frenzy trying to find it so I could write an incredibly funny and brilliant blog.

Except I couldn't find it.

Luckily for me though, my intense powers of fabulosity kicked in at just the right moment and I was able to opt for the next best thing.

I would recreate it!

Of course, in order to do so, I was going to need the Poolboy, who was already stretched out in bed, reading a book.

"Get up!" I say riffling through our linen closet looking for something floral, "I need you to put your work clothes on!"

"What?"

"I need to take a picture of you in your work clothes for T Squared."

Silence.

I completely ignore it.

"I'm going to redecorate the living room but I'll be right back. Put on your yellow jacket and meet me by the sofa."

Still with the silence.

Oh for the sweet sweet love of the Pool Boy...

But he finally replies,

"I'm still trying to figure out why the hell T wants to see me in my work clothes."

***

Of course, the conversation went much longer because, understandably, this was a stretch - even for me.

But I finally convinced him that - in the immortal words of Janice Dickinson, America's Next Top Model, cycle three - "Fashion shows no mercy."

And so my Poolboy on a haphazardly put together set, struck a pose...



And all was right in my fake cottage style world.

Now...

MAJOR EXCITEMENT ABOUNDS!!!!!!!!!!

I have succesfully installed comment luv into my account and can now carry on a conversation with you that is two ways! I can reply to individual comments and you can comment to each other. You can also insert pictures into your comments, your website URL's, or connect to Twitter, Facebook etc.

I'm not sure of all the ins and outs, but it's pretty easy. If it's too complicated, just put yourself down as a "Guest" then put your name or nicname in the name box and you're good to go!

***

If you have a chance, stop by my new series "Cooking with Giada" on The Kitchen Witch where I cook my way through Giada De Laurentis's fabulous book Giada's Kitchen,

Tonight's dinner was absolutely amazing!

Rib Eye Steak with Black Olive Vinaigrette - seriously, I love this one so much!!!!!!

Driving Miss Daisy - Maven Edition

First of all, you're in the right place.

It's just that, great lover of change that I am, I felt the blog needed a facelift.

Those of you darling friends who have been with me for the long haul will recognize the graphic in the banner. It's one I test drove in my early days on Blogger and one I keep coming back to because as the Poolboy so eloquently put it this evening, "She looks like a younger thinner version of you!"

People, don't get mad.

He meant well.

It's just that his speedo was on a little too tight and it cut off the circulation to his brain.



Meanwhile, sweet little TH, catcher of bugs, frogs, and fuzzy caterpillars



World renowned dinosaur expert, lover of Goosebumps books, and the best sidekick a mother could ever ask for, has reached a new milestone.

As if getting his first job, travelling to Europe, and graduating from highschool wasn't heart breaking enough, the kid had the nerve to head out the other day and get his driver's license.

And now, that's all he wants to do.

Drive.

Jesus take the wheel.



And while I know this is going to come as a shock to many of you - calm, cool, and collected as you know me to be...

What?

I am absolutely certifable in cars.



But because I'm subtle about it - breathing like a phone sex offender on heavy doses of viagra, and hitting my imaginary brakes *only when completely necessary* - it came as a complete surprise yesterday afternoon when TH was driving me home to hear him say, "Mom, relax!"

"I am relaxed," I said, "You're doing great"

"No offense or anything, but you look like you've got rigor mortis."

Okay, so perhaps my body was a little stiff, and maybe I had the armrest in a Darth Vader death grip, but I hadn't realized it was having an effect on TH.

Until I remembered my own experiences driving with Aurora



Realizing, yet again, that in ways both big and small I am slowly turning into my mother.

All I needed was a cigarette.

Meanwhile, we made it home in one piece.

Only to find out he "needed the car" last night and again this afternoon because he has a date!

My son is not only driving, in the space of three days, he is now dating.

Which is pretty fabulous, actually, because his date is the girl he took to prom.

(have I said date enough?)

She's smart, down to earth, very cute, and she likes my son.

If I wasn't a nervous wreck, I'd be very happy for him.

Maybe on their next date he'll let me drive.

***

So tell me, have you been there with your own kids? And if so, how the heck did you get through it without losing your mind?

As always, my enquiring mind wants to know!

And now, for your viewing enjoyment, The Dance of the Poolboy!



***

If you're not sure what to cook for dinner, don't forget to stop by The Kitchen Witch. Today's blog features something unique and tasty!

Surf and Turf Burgers



A lovely way to create everyday magic this summer!